When I was about 16 or 17 I started drinking alcohol. My parents don’t really know this, but I waited one night when they were in bed and sneaked into a little cupboard where they kept hard alcohol. My parents did not really drink alcohol at this time anymore and it was probably years old. I reasoned that if I took just a little from every bottle it would be hard to detect any missing from the half empty containers. I combined them all in one cup. I think there was bourbon, scotch, whiskey and vodka, but it’s hard to…
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I have always had a very independent mindset. And when I say that I mean, I needed to have complete control over my life. It’s just me against the world. If something needs to get done, it’s better to get it done by myself. No sense in asking for help because people are unreliable. Not only that, but it’s a dog eat dog world, and I need to fight for what I have and then hold on tight to it, lest it be ripped away from me. It has always been easy for me to feel self-reliant like this, because…
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I have to admit, my husband and I have not always had the best relationship. When we first met, I actually did not like him. At all. In fact, he annoyed me. I actually love to tell this story, because now we are very close and in love. He is my best friend and I cannot imagine life without him! It was a miracle from God that moved my heart toward him in a time when I did not even believe in God or even in love. We started dating when we were just friends and I was far from…
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My whole life I have been asking the question “Who am I?”. Even from the earliest years in my life, I have struggled to find an answer to this question. I think many of us spend a good portion of our lives trying to find our identities. As children we don’t worry as much about where are identity lies, because we find it in being a son or daughter. Yet as we enter in to our teen years that question of identity begins to loom over us, to take a stand about who we are. As I look back now…
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When I was a child I had a deathly fear of the dark. I was sure that something was going to get me. I know there are many children who are afraid of the dark, but this was an intense fear. I was so afraid that something was waiting to get me, that I could not go to sleep unless I was under the covers and in the middle of the bed. It would get to be over 100 degrees in the summer and I did not have air conditioning in my room. I would suffer through the heat of…
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Do you believe in demons? Do you believe they are more than a story in the Bible or fantasy in a movie? Do you believe that demons are present in your life right now, looking to cause you harm? Or do you believe that demons do not exist at all? I never believed in demons before a couple of years ago, and I was a witch. But as a witch I believed that what I did was for the good of all. I didn’t believe in Satan or hell, and in my mind I had nothing to do with them.…
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As a young adult I wanted nothing more than to be free. To make the choices that I felt were right, and to do what felt good. I wanted to define who I was and how I saw the world on my own terms. I had felt oppressed by my parents for so long and the new-found freedom of adulthood was like a breath of fresh air. So who was I to define myself as? I had to get in touch with myself, and the world around me. To figure out what life meant and where I fit in with that.…
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For most of my adult life I was a pagan. I was in rebellion against God, and a lover of all things of this world. I hated Christianity. I had met some of those Christians and they were a judgmental bunch of hypocrites. And so perfect. How can anyone be so perfect and pure? It really made me sick. I was not alone. Society as a whole seems to have the same views on Christians. Judgmental. Perfect. Hypocrites. It is an age-old idea that has permeated our culture in America. I really thought that I would be perfect too, when I became…
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Yesterday I had the most amazing experience. As I was driving I was praying and worshiping God. The sky was bright and the clouds were painted across it. The world felt alive and it was as if heaven itself had opened up and was signing praises to God. I was filled with a sense of awe, reverence and love. In that moment I knew that God was literally everywhere. Then I realized, this is exactly what is going on around us, every day, every minute. All of creation sings to us the glory of its Creator. God pours out His…
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I have never been one to think much about modesty. As a young adult and on I pretty much-loved to dress to show off my body. I loved showing lots of cleavage and leg and accentuating my butt. It made me feel sexy and I loved the attention. I didn’t care what other women thought, or if they were upset or jealous. It was all about me and it felt good. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 For most of my life…