Hope is our life line, connecting us to God Most High. When you have hope you feel like nothing could ever bring you down. Yet when you lose hope you feel like you have a lead weight tied to your ankle and you are sinking to the bottom of the sea. We absolutely can’t live without hope. It anchors our soul and brings us a depth of truth that keeps us afloat in a world filled with pain and chaos at every turn.
That is why when I lost sight of my hope, my life began to fall back into chaos and despair. You would think a strong Christian who has really devoted themselves to Christ would never lose hope. You would assume their hope is unwavering under every circumstance. However, I don’t think anyone is immune to the spiritual forces of this world and how hard they can hit you.
When I first became a Christian I truly believed that victory in Christ meant no problems and no pain. However as I began my walk of faith and trust in Jesus, I still continued to battle anger and depression on a daily basis. How is it that if I was a new creation in Christ that I was still battling these sins that had plagued me all of my life?
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:8-9
I had days where I felt weak, but I never gave up. I was determined to trust God’s Word that I was indeed a new creation and that my life was going to get better because of it. In many ways, my life was better, but in many ways, my battle was only just beginning.
There will never be a cessation of the absence of pain. That is not what the Bible promises us, yet I fear that is what many Christians feel pressured to believe. We are to be these perfect people, free from sin, never doing wrong or evil. The problem with that, is that we are human. Perfectly imperfect; yet we strive for this perfect life. That is why when my life completely fell apart around me I had no idea how to cope with what was happening.
What kind of Christian am I that would still have so much sin? Who am I if I am unstable as if I had built my house on sand? What I didn’t understand is that as desperately as I tried to leave my old life behind and build my house on the Rock, there was still a foundation of sand, and it was crumbling underneath me.
But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
James 4:6
As a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse, it is required of me to give my whole life, body, soul, and mind, over to Lucifer. Not just once, but multiple times and in multiple ways. So I had successfully built a strong foundation based on believing his lies and worshiping him, yet I had no idea I had done so. I had completely blocked it out, even as I consciously lived my life to please him.
I believed that I had renounced and repented of every tie to the occult, but the things hidden from my conscious mind were a dangerous tool the enemy had against me. The layers of indoctrination were miles deep and I had only just scratched the surface of how far my loyalties bent towards Lucifer. Far deeper than I could ever imagine.
My reality became the belief I truly was an evil person who had committed so much sin I could never be free. The pain that encapsulated every fiber of my being was weaved into every thought and action in my life. I could not separate pain from reality and I began to slip into hopelessness at the thought that I would never truly be free.
For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1
When pain began to overwhelm me I would immediately loose sight of hope and go directly into a pain identity. Thoughts of “I am terrible, I am evil, God hates me and has abandoned me” were predominate. These were the lies the devil had programmed into me and they would become larger than life for me.
It has taken me years of dilligent perserverance to work through all the traumatic events that led me to believe all these lies. It would have been so easy for me to give in and give up, believing there were no real options for freedom.
It would have been very easy for me to believe that I had failed at being a Christian. Yet Jesus was faithful to keep bringing me back to hope as He slowly began to build up my identity in Him.
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
1 Peter 2:9
The devil would have us believe that all we need to do is touch the hem of Jesus’s robe and we will be healed, yet he masks the fact that for generations our ancestors have pledged allegiance to Lucifer making instant healing impossible.
We have to be willing to dig for the truth of the rights granted to our lives by well meaning family members in order to cut out the roots of deeply binding generational curses.
Instead of comparing ourselves to those who have been instantly healed, we need to realize we are more like the man who was beaten, robbed and left for dead by the side of the road. That man needed the loving care of having his wounds tended and the time to recuperate.
Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.
Hebrews 2:14-15
That is the care we receive from Jesus Himself. We get all His tenderness, grace, mercy and love as He binds all our wounds and restores our souls. There is nothing more beautiful than the love God has for His precious children.
We are the reason Jesus paid the high price for freedom with His life. He knew the incredible evil that would be perpetrated against us and how devastating it is to the fragile human psyche. He risked everything to take the keys to death and hell back so we could understand that Lucifer can never own us.
And I will place on his shoulder the key of the house of David. He shall open, and none shall shut; and he shall shut, and none shall open.
Isaiah 22:22
True victory in Christ means standing strong in our identity in Christ in the worst and most dire of circumstances; knowing and believing that no amount of tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger, death, fallen angels, rulers, our past, or any powers can separate us from Him.
It may take time and work to get to a place where we can say this is true, but as long as we persevere to continue to seek His face and believe in His grace, we will overcome.
Victory in Christ does not mean the enemy will stop his attack. Instead it is the ability to stand firm and believe God’s Word over our own feelings in every circumstance. When we can recognize our true identity and praise Jesus in every circumstance, then we can truly rest in His victory.
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
