I have come a long way in my journey of healing my self-hatred, but no matter how far I come I can’t seem to leave it behind. So I am left asking myself: what is it about self-hatred that I subconsciously believe is helping me? The answer I came up with is my self-hatred is actually rooted in hatred for God. That might seem really horrifying to some, but if I don’t confront these deeply hidden roots inside of me, I will continue to live them out. If I don’t examine myself and find what in my heart is still…
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Sometimes being a spiritual being in a physical body can be so difficult. Your body is connected to your emotions, which is your soul, and they can often lead you astray. Especially where pain or pleasure are involved. For me, pain and pleasure have always seemed to be a leading factor in the decision making processes of my life. Is this going to bring me pain or pleasure? Things that bring pain are left for another day and things that bring pleasure are brought to the forefront. Yet seeking pleasure has not been my main agenda, it has actually been…
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Being a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse is one of the most difficult things I have had to come to grips with. It has been a cause of great stress, frustration, confusion, and even depression. I have had to struggle to understand how to fit into a world that denies my experience as reality, and how to navigate through deep pain. Some days I am just fine. I feel great, I’m connecting with Jesus, and fully functioning. Other days I’m a miserable wreck. I’m angry or depressed or both. I get extremely oppressed and can’t think straight. It’s all I…
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Witchcraft is very deceptive and can manifest itself in our lives in many ways. The enemy uses witchcraft attack to either weaken us, or to bring us into alignment with his kingdom. Each type of witchcraft has a specific purpose and intent. It could be to hinder your walk with God, and the call He has on your life. It could be to weaken your ministry or tear apart your family. It could be to keep you physically weak and distracted, depressed or hopeless. The end game of witchcraft is always to steal, kill and destroy. Witchcraft can come from…
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When I first came to Christ, almost four years ago, I firmly believed witchcraft was a part of my past. I had not, to my knowledge, practiced any witchcraft in years. I was no longer in rebellion to God, but full submission. From what I understood about witchcraft, it was being at the altar, chanting spells or performing rituals. It was an act of worship to the gods and goddesses, that required specific items, words, movements, etc. What I did not understand was that is only a small part of what witchcraft actually is. It took me two years of…
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It has been about a year since I began my journey into inner healing. It has been quite a wild ride for me so far. When I first ventured into inner healing, I had no idea what I was even getting myself into. All I knew is that I was tired of being angry and sick and knew that God had made too many promises for me to live a life on victory to keep walking in pain. Yet I had no idea that when I begged God to help me to be better and to be closer to Him,…
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When I was a teenager, I was absolutely fascinated with vampires and witches. I used to watch any shows I could about the subjects, such as Sabrina The Teenage Witch or Teen Witch, and I would devour whole book series, such as The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice. There was nothing more exciting and romantic than the prospect of falling in love with some hunky vampire and becoming one, or even better, wielding the power of witchcraft myself. These shows and books painted a picture that a teen girl could easily become enraptured with, especially one who desired to escape…
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When I came into a relationship with Jesus Christ, I as an ex witch. I had not, to my knowledge, been actively participating in witchcraft anymore. I did believe in the paganism ideologies of oneness with the universe, higher self realization, many gods and goddesses, and much more however. I acknowledged the witch holy days such as Winter Solstice and Ostara, and I had many idols around the house in tribute to gods and goddesses. I also had books on the occult and new age beliefs I held, that I read still. I was very willing to repent of all…
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I was very excited to get my first tattoo. It was my eighteenth birthday and my best friend had offered to pay for it as a gift. I had been looking forward to getting a tattoo for quite some time! To me it was a symbol of who I am and of my freedom. She even picked out a place for us to go and have it done. I was a little leery when she drove me out to a part of town I didn’t know very well and it didn’t look very nice. This was about 20 years ago…