• The Purpose In Suffering

    March 16, 2020

    As a new Christian, I could not understand suffering. I believed that if God loved me, He would relieve me of all suffering and give me a life of happiness and fulfillment. I believed that He was a good and loving God, and therefore naturally, He would protect me from every bad thing. What I didn’t understand was that suffering is not actually a bad thing, but a part of our walk as believers in Christ Jesus. One of the things that bothered me the most about suffering was the feeling that it made my life worthless; that all of…

  • Why I Blamed God For My Pain

    July 15, 2019

    Pain is a terrible thing, but when you have been steeped in the mire of it for your whole life, it becomes a life force of its own. Pain has owned me, had power over me, and commanded me. It has nurtured me and taught me the foundations on which to build my life: suffering, torture, mistrust, hate, revenge, control. From the time I was very young I was under the grips of pain; it was truly all I ever knew. While all babies only want tender loving care and affection, all I received was hatred and admonishment. How can…

  • sovereign god

    Wrestling With A Sovereign God

    May 21, 2018

    One of the things I have struggled with for most of my life is the concept of a sovereign God. How can a God that has supreme power and authority over not only all of the earth but heaven and hell as well, allow terrible things to happen to people? That sounds like a god that has no emotion or compassion for people, no matter who they are. Any god that allows death and hell to remain for a single day under his watch cannot possibly be a good or loving god whatsoever. I have seen many terrible things happen…