• all things new

    All Things New

    December 4, 2020

    Two years ago, in the midst of the despair in my suffering, Jesus spoke to me saying “I am making all things new”, and He gave me this verse: Behold, I am doing a new thing;     now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness     and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19 I wanted to believe Him. I needed to believe Him, and I held on to that promise choosing to hope in something that looked utterly impossible. Yet as the days, weeks, and months passed by, I never saw a change…

  • The Purpose In Suffering

    March 16, 2020

    As a new Christian, I could not understand suffering. I believed that if God loved me, He would relieve me of all suffering and give me a life of happiness and fulfillment. I believed that He was a good and loving God, and therefore naturally, He would protect me from every bad thing. What I didn’t understand was that suffering is not actually a bad thing, but a part of our walk as believers in Christ Jesus. One of the things that bothered me the most about suffering was the feeling that it made my life worthless; that all of…

  • pain idenity

    Living In A Pain Identity

    March 2, 2020

    During the past few years, I have had to come to some hard conclusions about how I have been living my life. You see, even though I write about what I have had to endure, I have still worked very hard to live as though it never happened. Every week in my therapy sessions I have to come face to face with my past abuse and the direct effect it has on my life today, yet once I walk away from that session I forget it all and pretend it’s not true. Pain has been a big part of my…