Long ago, before time began, you received a call to go forth into this world on an assignment from your Papa. He showed you all the obstacles you would face in this world so you would know what you were choosing when you said yes. Some of those things were vile and others were horrific, but still, you said yes. When you were born you have swept away into Babylon, and that is where we live today. I tell you this because the call has come down from on high to leave the trappings of this world in exchange for…
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Sometimes you feel like the weight of your sin is so pervasive it could simply crush you to death. You grapple with it and try to get a firm grip on it to keep you from swallowing you whole, all the while keeping a tenuous hold on life. You let your imaginings run wild with how terribly awful you are and soon enough the sin eats you alive. In order to avoid this horrid mess, you find a quiet place in your mind where you can find peace and rest. You start to believe that you aren’t horrible, but actually…
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Pain has been the theme and even motto of my life – a theme that I have embraced fully and without question as it was so deeply ingrained in the root of my psyche. I began writing poetry reflecting pain and the spirit of death when I was thirteen – a time when my life was in the most turmoil I had ever known. My mother had just sacrificed me to Baal and my father ritually produced a child within me. I was pregnant with a Nephilim hybrid and I thought I was dying. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall…
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Last summer I had the amazing opportunity to encounter a deliverance ministry that would forever change my life. I did not know much about deliverance, although I had attempted it several times before, either on my own or through the help of others who prayed for me. I had no idea deliverance was even something important or necessary in my life. I only knew that spiritually things were wrong and something had to change. It took me over a year of research to even understand the concept of deliverance and why it was important, but it was not until my…
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Being a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse is one of the most difficult things I have had to come to grips with. It has been a cause of great stress, frustration, confusion, and even depression. I have had to struggle to understand how to fit into a world that denies my experience as reality, and how to navigate through deep pain. Some days I am just fine. I feel great, I’m connecting with Jesus, and fully functioning. Other days I’m a miserable wreck. I’m angry or depressed or both. I get extremely oppressed and can’t think straight. It’s all I…
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When I first became a Christian, I had never even heard the term ‘deliverance’. I had no idea what it was, and I had no idea that Christians could even have demons. Once I had a firm foothold on the basics of Christianity, I knew I was a good Christian. I went to Bible Studies every week, got baptized, joined a church and did all the right things. I made sure to get rid of everything from the occult I had from my past and repented of all of my involvement with it. I was certain I was doing really…
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When I came into a relationship with Jesus Christ, I as an ex witch. I had not, to my knowledge, been actively participating in witchcraft anymore. I did believe in the paganism ideologies of oneness with the universe, higher self realization, many gods and goddesses, and much more however. I acknowledged the witch holy days such as Winter Solstice and Ostara, and I had many idols around the house in tribute to gods and goddesses. I also had books on the occult and new age beliefs I held, that I read still. I was very willing to repent of all…
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I have been going through hell lately. It’s been over half of a year now since I began a journey into discovering why I have had a life filled with intense pain. I had gotten to the point where I felt much better than I ever had, because Jesus unconditional love and saving grace had brought me transformation. Yet I discovered that as time went on, I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I was. After the initial transformation (which was huge) I started to decline. Don’t get me wrong – all the changes the Holy Spirit inspired me…
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I have to admit, my husband and I have not always had the best relationship. When we first met, I actually did not like him. At all. In fact, he annoyed me. I actually love to tell this story, because now we are very close and in love. He is my best friend and I cannot imagine life without him! It was a miracle from God that moved my heart toward him in a time when I did not even believe in God or even in love. We started dating when we were just friends and I was far from…