When I was growing up I did not have a normal childhood. I was never taught the things that a young girl should be taught about the basics of housekeeping or self-care. I wasn’t taught to brush my teeth regularly, take care of my body, eat healthily, or how to cook or clean. These were all things I had to learn on my own, and some things I am still learning at the age of 44. I have always been so hard on myself for not being better at all of these things. I have continually held the whip to…
Self hatred has been as much a part of my life as breathing. From the time I was very young, the seeds of doubt and despair were planted into my being. I remember feeling hopeless, lost, confused, and most of all, unloved for the majority of my life. What I didn’t realize was that these were the very seeds of self-hatred that were planted and being watered daily. All it takes is a little hopelessness to create self-hatred and self loathing. Starting at a young age, we can become vulnerable to those seeds as they grow into self-hatred. Our desire…
Forgiveness has been something that I have struggled with all of my life. From the time I was born, I was being physically and sexually abused by my family and at the Mormon Church. I grew up feeling worthless and abandoned; constantly lied to and betrayed. I was beaten down for having gifts from God to see and talk to Him, and was taught that I was generally stupid and altogether evil. All these things shaped the core of who I was. Instead of growing into a tender young girl who loved the Lord, and wanted to help and serve…