• The Purpose In Suffering

    March 16, 2020

    As a new Christian, I could not understand suffering. I believed that if God loved me, He would relieve me of all suffering and give me a life of happiness and fulfillment. I believed that He was a good and loving God, and therefore naturally, He would protect me from every bad thing. What I didn’t understand was that suffering is not actually a bad thing, but a part of our walk as believers in Christ Jesus. One of the things that bothered me the most about suffering was the feeling that it made my life worthless; that all of…

  • Why I Blamed God For My Pain

    July 15, 2019

    Pain is a terrible thing, but when you have been steeped in the mire of it for your whole life, it becomes a life force of its own. Pain has owned me, had power over me, and commanded me. It has nurtured me and taught me the foundations on which to build my life: suffering, torture, mistrust, hate, revenge, control. From the time I was very young I was under the grips of pain; it was truly all I ever knew. While all babies only want tender loving care and affection, all I received was hatred and admonishment. How can…

  • How To Deal With Pain And Anger

    March 7, 2016

    I have been going through hell lately. It’s been over half of a year now since I began a journey into discovering why I have had a life filled with intense pain. I had gotten to the point where I felt much better than I ever had, because Jesus unconditional love and saving grace had brought me transformation. Yet I discovered that as time went on, I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I was. After the initial transformation (which was huge) I started to decline. Don’t get me wrong – all the changes the Holy Spirit inspired me…