• Growing Into Christ

    November 13, 2024

    One of the hardest parts about being a ritual abuse survivor is being an adult. Maybe that sounds strange because I am an adult, but as a ritual abuse survivor you are trained to live out of dissociative alters that are stuck in a regressed age. Often that age is very young, such as a toddler or young child. Anyone who has DID or other forms of complex dissociative disorder understands the struggle of having the feelings of a child in the body of an adult. However, for many of us survivors, the hardest part is recognizing that we are…

  • The Blessing Of Brokenness

    November 11, 2020

    Sometimes being a spiritual being in a physical body can be so difficult. Your body is connected to your emotions, which is your soul, and they can often lead you astray. Especially where pain or pleasure are involved. For me, pain and pleasure have always seemed to be a leading factor in the decision making processes of my life. Is this going to bring me pain or pleasure? Things that bring pain are left for another day and things that bring pleasure are brought to the forefront. Yet seeking pleasure has not been my main agenda, it has actually been…

  • the other side of darkness

    The Other Side of Darkness

    November 2, 2020

    Sometimes you feel like the weight of your sin is so pervasive it could simply crush you to death. You grapple with it and try to get a firm grip on it to keep you from swallowing you whole, all the while keeping a tenuous hold on life. You let your imaginings run wild with how terribly awful you are and soon enough the sin eats you alive. In order to avoid this horrid mess, you find a quiet place in your mind where you can find peace and rest. You start to believe that you aren’t horrible, but actually…

  • Ungodly Sorrow And Suffering

    October 24, 2020

    Suffering comes in many forms and for me, it has always come from the deep emotional pain of shame and regret. I have harbored for many years the shame and regret of most of my sin, yet instead of confronting it as I should, I continued to bury it deep in the recesses of my psyche. Not to say I was ever without excuse because truth be told the sin of participating in the sacrificial murder of one’s own offspring through satanic rituals when you are merely a child is not a sin of one’s own making. It is a…

  • survivor

    What Does It Mean To Be A Survivor?

    October 8, 2020

    When I first came to the understanding that my family was an occult family that ritually abused me and worked my whole life to connect me to the highest order of the Satanic Illuminati, I was stunned. The pain of the realization was so overwhelming I became numb for a time. I went faithfully to my inner healing sessions every week to do the work, but then immediately shut out as much as I could until the next session came up. Then once I came to a place of acceptance and even a certain level of understanding, my goal became…

  • self-sabotage

    Spiritual Attack Or Self-Sabotage

    January 6, 2020

    When I first became aware of spiritual attack as a new Christian, I believed that everything bad that I was experiencing was because of it. The more I learned about the spiritual realm and the inner workings of Satan’s kingdom the more I believed I was a victim of spiritual attack daily. To a point, it was true, but the more I have come through inner healing I have learned some important things about what I have perceived about spiritual attack. As a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse, I live with several trauma-related mental health disorders, such as Dissociative Identity…

  • faith

    Faith To Move Mountains

    November 4, 2019

    I have written many times about having dissociative personalities and how they become loyal to the occult through Satanic ritual abuse and mind control programming, but what I haven’t talked about is the current struggles I am having that come from the repercussions of my denial. You see, as a new Christian I firmly believed that I was going to be born again of the Spirit of God, and everything that was bad or evil would be washed away. I would be clean and pure in the eyes of God, and that meant all of my occult ties would be…

  • dissociative identities

    How I Live With Dissociative Identities

    June 10, 2019

    I have Dissociative Identity Disorder or DID, the same thing as Multiple Personality Disorder. I have lived with it all of my life and had no idea I had it. Many people, like me, have a dissociative disorder and live normal lives and have no idea they have one. They may struggle with many problems in life, but they rationalize all their problems away and learn to cope and deal with life on a daily basis. Dissociation is a process in where a person disconnects from themselves in order to deal with trauma. It is completely normal and anyone who…

  • dissociative

    Living With Dissociative Disorder

    February 26, 2018

    Dissociative Identity Disorder or Multiple Personality Disorder is something I have lived with my entire life, I just didn’t know it. I remember being a child and seeing Sybil on Oprah one day. The thought of having a bunch of different people living inside one body scared me immensely. She would just switch from one personality to another, each personality very distinct from another. To me, that was what crazy looked like. I have never had any reason to believe I have Dissociative Disorder. I have never seen anything even remotely resembling Sybil in myself, and I never even really…

  • Second Heaven Exposed! The Inner Workings Of Satan’s Domain: Satanic Illuminati Part 3

    November 27, 2017

    There are 3 levels in the second heaven constructed as follows:   It is made clear throughout the Bible that there are multiple heavens. “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1 In the Bible we are told there are three separate heavens. The Highest Heaven, or Third Heaven is where the Throne of God is.  I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know – God knows 2 Cor 2 :12 “But…