• Growing Into Christ

    November 13, 2024

    One of the hardest parts about being a ritual abuse survivor is being an adult. Maybe that sounds strange because I am an adult, but as a ritual abuse survivor you are trained to live out of dissociative alters that are stuck in a regressed age. Often that age is very young, such as a toddler or young child. Anyone who has DID or other forms of complex dissociative disorder understands the struggle of having the feelings of a child in the body of an adult. However, for many of us survivors, the hardest part is recognizing that we are…

  • The Blessing Of Brokenness

    November 11, 2020

    Sometimes being a spiritual being in a physical body can be so difficult. Your body is connected to your emotions, which is your soul, and they can often lead you astray. Especially where pain or pleasure are involved. For me, pain and pleasure have always seemed to be a leading factor in the decision making processes of my life. Is this going to bring me pain or pleasure? Things that bring pain are left for another day and things that bring pleasure are brought to the forefront. Yet seeking pleasure has not been my main agenda, it has actually been…

  • the other side of darkness

    The Other Side of Darkness

    November 2, 2020

    Sometimes you feel like the weight of your sin is so pervasive it could simply crush you to death. You grapple with it and try to get a firm grip on it to keep you from swallowing you whole, all the while keeping a tenuous hold on life. You let your imaginings run wild with how terribly awful you are and soon enough the sin eats you alive. In order to avoid this horrid mess, you find a quiet place in your mind where you can find peace and rest. You start to believe that you aren’t horrible, but actually…

  • self-sabotage

    Spiritual Attack Or Self-Sabotage

    January 6, 2020

    When I first became aware of spiritual attack as a new Christian, I believed that everything bad that I was experiencing was because of it. The more I learned about the spiritual realm and the inner workings of Satan’s kingdom the more I believed I was a victim of spiritual attack daily. To a point, it was true, but the more I have come through inner healing I have learned some important things about what I have perceived about spiritual attack. As a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse, I live with several trauma-related mental health disorders, such as Dissociative Identity…

  • denial

    A Place For Denial

    December 16, 2019

    As I reflect on this year and what I have been through, I just have to praise the Lord. I have come a long way this year in my healing journey, to a place where I feel like I am truly being renewed. I have spent so much time this year living from a place of pain because it was easier for me to live in denial than it was to open my eyes to the truth. Not to say there is something wrong with denial, because it plays such an important role in our lives sometimes. For me, denial…

  • faith

    Faith To Move Mountains

    November 4, 2019

    I have written many times about having dissociative personalities and how they become loyal to the occult through Satanic ritual abuse and mind control programming, but what I haven’t talked about is the current struggles I am having that come from the repercussions of my denial. You see, as a new Christian I firmly believed that I was going to be born again of the Spirit of God, and everything that was bad or evil would be washed away. I would be clean and pure in the eyes of God, and that meant all of my occult ties would be…

  • dissociative identities

    How I Live With Dissociative Identities

    June 10, 2019

    I have Dissociative Identity Disorder or DID, the same thing as Multiple Personality Disorder. I have lived with it all of my life and had no idea I had it. Many people, like me, have a dissociative disorder and live normal lives and have no idea they have one. They may struggle with many problems in life, but they rationalize all their problems away and learn to cope and deal with life on a daily basis. Dissociation is a process in where a person disconnects from themselves in order to deal with trauma. It is completely normal and anyone who…

  • dissociative

    Living With Dissociative Disorder

    February 26, 2018

    Dissociative Identity Disorder or Multiple Personality Disorder is something I have lived with my entire life, I just didn’t know it. I remember being a child and seeing Sybil on Oprah one day. The thought of having a bunch of different people living inside one body scared me immensely. She would just switch from one personality to another, each personality very distinct from another. To me, that was what crazy looked like. I have never had any reason to believe I have Dissociative Disorder. I have never seen anything even remotely resembling Sybil in myself, and I never even really…

  • Second Heaven Exposed! The Inner Workings Of Satan’s Domain: Satanic Illuminati Part 3

    November 27, 2017

    There are 3 levels in the second heaven constructed as follows:   It is made clear throughout the Bible that there are multiple heavens. “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1 In the Bible we are told there are three separate heavens. The Highest Heaven, or Third Heaven is where the Throne of God is.  I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know – God knows 2 Cor 2 :12 “But…

  • Alternate Personalities And Trauma Based Mind Control: Satanic Illuminati Part 2

    November 13, 2017

    Alternate personalities or dissociative identities are born in order to manage certain behaviors, experiences and feelings. Each alter can function either independently of one another, or in conjunction with others. Alters can be unaware of the inside system of parts, or that it is even a part of a body. Many alters actually live outside of the body, having traveled to second heaven. Each alter is created for a specific purpose. An alter can be created through ritual abuse trauma, but also through other childhood traumas. Getting lost, abuse, neglect, death of a loved one and other such traumas can…