• Growing Into Christ

    November 13, 2024

    One of the hardest parts about being a ritual abuse survivor is being an adult. Maybe that sounds strange because I am an adult, but as a ritual abuse survivor you are trained to live out of dissociative alters that are stuck in a regressed age. Often that age is very young, such as a toddler or young child. Anyone who has DID or other forms of complex dissociative disorder understands the struggle of having the feelings of a child in the body of an adult. However, for many of us survivors, the hardest part is recognizing that we are…

  • pain idenity

    Living In A Pain Identity

    March 2, 2020

    During the past few years, I have had to come to some hard conclusions about how I have been living my life. You see, even though I write about what I have had to endure, I have still worked very hard to live as though it never happened. Every week in my therapy sessions I have to come face to face with my past abuse and the direct effect it has on my life today, yet once I walk away from that session I forget it all and pretend it’s not true. Pain has been a big part of my…

  • self-sabotage

    Spiritual Attack Or Self-Sabotage

    January 6, 2020

    When I first became aware of spiritual attack as a new Christian, I believed that everything bad that I was experiencing was because of it. The more I learned about the spiritual realm and the inner workings of Satan’s kingdom the more I believed I was a victim of spiritual attack daily. To a point, it was true, but the more I have come through inner healing I have learned some important things about what I have perceived about spiritual attack. As a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse, I live with several trauma-related mental health disorders, such as Dissociative Identity…

  • denial

    A Place For Denial

    December 16, 2019

    As I reflect on this year and what I have been through, I just have to praise the Lord. I have come a long way this year in my healing journey, to a place where I feel like I am truly being renewed. I have spent so much time this year living from a place of pain because it was easier for me to live in denial than it was to open my eyes to the truth. Not to say there is something wrong with denial, because it plays such an important role in our lives sometimes. For me, denial…

  • faith

    Faith To Move Mountains

    November 4, 2019

    I have written many times about having dissociative personalities and how they become loyal to the occult through Satanic ritual abuse and mind control programming, but what I haven’t talked about is the current struggles I am having that come from the repercussions of my denial. You see, as a new Christian I firmly believed that I was going to be born again of the Spirit of God, and everything that was bad or evil would be washed away. I would be clean and pure in the eyes of God, and that meant all of my occult ties would be…

  • dissociative identities

    How I Live With Dissociative Identities

    June 10, 2019

    I have Dissociative Identity Disorder or DID, the same thing as Multiple Personality Disorder. I have lived with it all of my life and had no idea I had it. Many people, like me, have a dissociative disorder and live normal lives and have no idea they have one. They may struggle with many problems in life, but they rationalize all their problems away and learn to cope and deal with life on a daily basis. Dissociation is a process in where a person disconnects from themselves in order to deal with trauma. It is completely normal and anyone who…

  • survivor

    How To Survive Being A Survivor of Satanic Ritual Abuse

    June 3, 2019

    Being a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse is one of the most difficult things I have had to come to grips with. It has been a cause of great stress, frustration, confusion, and even depression. I have had to struggle to understand how to fit into a world that denies my experience as reality, and how to navigate through deep pain. Some days I am just fine. I feel great, I’m connecting with Jesus, and fully functioning. Other days I’m a miserable wreck. I’m angry or depressed or both. I get extremely oppressed and can’t think straight. It’s all I…

  • Astral Travel and Satanic Rituals

    October 31, 2016

    One year ago on Halloween I had my first real experience where I understood what human spirits are, and I wrote my first post about them. Before that the concept of human spirits and astral travel was still so new to me. I had a very vague understanding of what human spirits were and how they worked. Here I am a year later, and my knowledge and understanding have grown immensely. There is very little information on human spirits available today, and so I would like to share some of what I know, in order to help educate those who are…