• Growing Into Christ

    November 13, 2024

    One of the hardest parts about being a ritual abuse survivor is being an adult. Maybe that sounds strange because I am an adult, but as a ritual abuse survivor you are trained to live out of dissociative alters that are stuck in a regressed age. Often that age is very young, such as a toddler or young child. Anyone who has DID or other forms of complex dissociative disorder understands the struggle of having the feelings of a child in the body of an adult. However, for many of us survivors, the hardest part is recognizing that we are…

  • denial

    A Place For Denial

    December 16, 2019

    As I reflect on this year and what I have been through, I just have to praise the Lord. I have come a long way this year in my healing journey, to a place where I feel like I am truly being renewed. I have spent so much time this year living from a place of pain because it was easier for me to live in denial than it was to open my eyes to the truth. Not to say there is something wrong with denial, because it plays such an important role in our lives sometimes. For me, denial…

  • dissociative identities

    How I Live With Dissociative Identities

    June 10, 2019

    I have Dissociative Identity Disorder or DID, the same thing as Multiple Personality Disorder. I have lived with it all of my life and had no idea I had it. Many people, like me, have a dissociative disorder and live normal lives and have no idea they have one. They may struggle with many problems in life, but they rationalize all their problems away and learn to cope and deal with life on a daily basis. Dissociation is a process in where a person disconnects from themselves in order to deal with trauma. It is completely normal and anyone who…

  • survivor

    How To Survive Being A Survivor of Satanic Ritual Abuse

    June 3, 2019

    Being a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse is one of the most difficult things I have had to come to grips with. It has been a cause of great stress, frustration, confusion, and even depression. I have had to struggle to understand how to fit into a world that denies my experience as reality, and how to navigate through deep pain. Some days I am just fine. I feel great, I’m connecting with Jesus, and fully functioning. Other days I’m a miserable wreck. I’m angry or depressed or both. I get extremely oppressed and can’t think straight. It’s all I…