For a long time I felt very angry for the amount of pain and suffering I had in my life. I blamed God, my family, my husband, and even myself. I believed that my life was meant for suffering and that God created me to suffer. It was incredibly hard for me to see anything else outside of that belief because it was so rooted in my identity. The problem with that belief was it is so far away from the identity God has given to me. God has called me to bring hope through my story, but not even…
For me, growing up with trial and torment daily led me to believe that trials and pain are horrible things I need to avoid. I have lived most of my life desperately trying to remove all sources of pain or problems, whether it meant walking away from friendships or even completely isolating myself. It a situation or person brought me pain on even the smallest level, I was ready to bolt. It is only recently that I have really found meaning in the verses of scripture that teach us that trials and tribulations are not bad, but ordained by God…
During the past few years, I have had to come to some hard conclusions about how I have been living my life. You see, even though I write about what I have had to endure, I have still worked very hard to live as though it never happened. Every week in my therapy sessions I have to come face to face with my past abuse and the direct effect it has on my life today, yet once I walk away from that session I forget it all and pretend it’s not true. Pain has been a big part of my…
Grace is not a word I would have ever used to describe my life in the past, and until recently grace has been more of a concept or idea. According to the dictionary, grace is unmerited approval or favor, freely given. That means you don’t have to work for it or do something in particular to receive it. For most of us, I think grace is a foreign concept, especially if it’s coming from God. In Christianese, grace is used often and easily to describe the Christian life, but how many of us actually can apply that same grace to…