• all things new

    All Things New

    December 4, 2020

    Two years ago, in the midst of the despair in my suffering, Jesus spoke to me saying “I am making all things new”, and He gave me this verse: Behold, I am doing a new thing;     now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness     and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19 I wanted to believe Him. I needed to believe Him, and I held on to that promise choosing to hope in something that looked utterly impossible. Yet as the days, weeks, and months passed by, I never saw a change…

  • The Purpose In Suffering

    March 16, 2020

    As a new Christian, I could not understand suffering. I believed that if God loved me, He would relieve me of all suffering and give me a life of happiness and fulfillment. I believed that He was a good and loving God, and therefore naturally, He would protect me from every bad thing. What I didn’t understand was that suffering is not actually a bad thing, but a part of our walk as believers in Christ Jesus. One of the things that bothered me the most about suffering was the feeling that it made my life worthless; that all of…

  • Finding Your Identity In The Truth

    March 9, 2020

    For me, growing up with trial and torment daily led me to believe that trials and pain are horrible things I need to avoid. I have lived most of my life desperately trying to remove all sources of pain or problems, whether it meant walking away from friendships or even completely isolating myself. It a situation or person brought me pain on even the smallest level, I was ready to bolt. It is only recently that I have really found meaning in the verses of scripture that teach us that trials and tribulations are not bad, but ordained by God…

  • Why I Blamed God For My Pain

    July 15, 2019

    Pain is a terrible thing, but when you have been steeped in the mire of it for your whole life, it becomes a life force of its own. Pain has owned me, had power over me, and commanded me. It has nurtured me and taught me the foundations on which to build my life: suffering, torture, mistrust, hate, revenge, control. From the time I was very young I was under the grips of pain; it was truly all I ever knew. While all babies only want tender loving care and affection, all I received was hatred and admonishment. How can…