• Keeping In Perfect Peace

    June 29, 2023

    What does it mean to keep perfect peace when your body and mind have been in trauma mode for your whole life? How do you surrender to the Lord and lean not on your own understanding when everything inside of you is screaming in fear? That is the problem I have lived with since becoming a Christian ten years ago. At first, I just thought I had an anger problem. And sure, I have been extremely angry. But what I have perceived as anger has been my response to trauma triggers, and continued trauma happening to me. Everything in my…

  • God Will Make A Way

    June 21, 2023

    I have felt very powerless for a very long time. There were so many times I was put into a place where I was desperate for help, yet none came. I began to believe that the horror that was happening to me was all my fault, and therefore I must be very bad. And if I am bad, then God must hate me, because it certainly appeared that He abandoned me. I have carried these beliefs with me for a lifetime, and they have permeated every aspect of my life. Anytime pain or suffering has come upon me, I blamed…

  • Trusting God

    June 15, 2023

    During all the years of my childhood occult training, one of my biggest takeaways has been that I am not safe. Safety comes with obedience, yet even compliance is not enough to keep me safe. So I learned to perform, manipulate, and call on all evil spirits and humans for rescue and power, but it was never enough. During ritual abuse they put you through the paces, torturing you and then rescuing you, over and over again, until you are so twisted from confusion and pain that you will do whatever they ask, no matter how defiling or demeaning it…

  • Finding Jesus In Your Suffering

    January 19, 2023

    For a long time I felt very angry for the amount of pain and suffering I had in my life. I blamed God, my family, my husband, and even myself. I believed that my life was meant for suffering and that God created me to suffer. It was incredibly hard for me to see anything else outside of that belief because it was so rooted in my identity. The problem with that belief was it is so far away from the identity God has given to me. God has called me to bring hope through my story, but not even…

  • Jesus Is Shaking Your Identity

    January 3, 2023

    I have been through a really rough few months. I have agreed to a massive agenda of self-hatred and self-sabotage for a long time and it has finally come to a head. I have believed so many lies about myself and shaped my identity, but thank God He has been shaking the foundation of all of these lies to bring me to the truth. First of all, I just have to say that I believe God is shaking many people to the core of their identity right now. It feels like your world is unstable and you are falling apart.…

  • negative thought patterns

    Recognizing Negative Thought Patterns

    February 17, 2022

    Negative thought patterns can be a touchy subject. Some people, like myself, hear the phrase negative thoughts and immediately get defensive, or use it as a way of self-punishment. Others use it as a way to deflect onto others or prove that they have no negative thoughts ever. Why is the concept of negative thoughts patterns so triggering? Maybe because deep down inside were all afraid of secretly being bad. I have to think back to the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve had a perfect life. They lived in harmony with God and His creation, knowing no pain…

  • rely on god

    Learning To Rely On God

    February 8, 2022

    It has been a long journey for me to learn to rely on God. When I first became a Christian I wanted nothing more than to have complete surrender to God in every area of my life. I prayed over every decision I made because I didn’t want to take a step in the wrong direction. I wanted to make sure that everything I did was God’s will for my life. What I didn’t realize I was doing was still a part of retaining control. I know that sounds very odd to think that praying and seeking the Lord in…

  • The Book Of Habbukuk

    January 25, 2022

    I have been studying the book of Habakkuk lately and it has really given me some beautiful insight. The reason I love this book is that it is still so relevant today. God didn’t need to continue to write down the history of His people because history just keeps repeating itself. Nations rise and fall, and people continue to whore themselves out to many other gods. They then get corrected and fall back into line with God’s plan for them, only to be led astray once more. Everything we need to know about the history of mankind is in the…

  • Blessing Your Spirit

    January 5, 2022

    When God created us before time, He created us first as a spirit. God breathed us into being and we had a life before we had a body or soul. It’s not until God forms us in the womb that we develop a soul and body. Yet once we are born into this physical world we don’t remember the spiritual world. Our spirits are waiting to be renewed and brought back to life again in Christ. During the time we live without Christ, we allow our souls, or our flesh, to dominate our lives. We followed the prince of the power…

  • Biblical Identity Declarations

    December 27, 2021

    Many of us suffer from an identity crisis. We have completely forgotten our Biblical identity. We take up the identity of the enemy because we believe his lies over God’s truth. We also take on identity from the roles we play in this life. Parent, spouse, friend, co-worker, business owner, etc. become our identity instead of who God actually says we are. None of the roles we play or jobs we hold define us, they are simply one small facet of who we are. When we use shame, pain, or self-hate to define ourselves, we are agreeing with the devil…