Being a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse is one of the most difficult things I have had to come to grips with. It has been a cause of great stress, frustration, confusion, and even depression. I have had to struggle to understand how to fit into a world that denies my experience as reality, and how to navigate through deep pain.
Some days I am just fine. I feel great, I’m connecting with Jesus, and fully functioning. Other days I’m a miserable wreck. I’m angry or depressed or both. I get extremely oppressed and can’t think straight. It’s all I can do to make it through.
Then there are the in-between days where I’m at a crossroads. It could go either way, and I try my hardest to surrender everything to Jesus and praise Him so I don’t go down into the pit. It’s like being on an arduous journey where you often forget where you’re going and why you left.
I never know what I’m going to be up against from one day to the next. Having a complex inner system made up of thousands of fragmented alters makes it difficult to navigate. Through weekly healing, I am bringing these parts back into alignment with who God created me to be and helping them step into freedom.
Unfortunately, not everyone has access to help from an outside source who understands the effects of Satanic ritual abuse and mind control programming. Thankfully I have learned some tools along the way to help me when I have no outside help.
I would like to share these useful tips with you, in hopes that it may help ease you’re burdensome. However, at the end of the day, it all comes back to Jesus. Jesus is the only way we can receive healing and hope, and we must put all of our trust and faith in Him alone.
Fear not, nor be afraid;
have I not told you from of old and declared it?
And you are my witnesses!
Is there a God besides me?
There is no Rock; I know not any.”
Isaiah 44:8
1. Understanding Your Triggers
Anyone who has endured any level of trauma has a trauma trigger. A trauma trigger is quite simply an internal reaction to outside stimulation of recreated trauma. For example; I get overly frightened if a squirrel runs out in front of the car because it reminds me of ritual sacrifice. Or if I see a child hurt or in pain, it reminds me of being hurt as a child.
These reminders are not a conscious thought, but a reaction to an unconscious memory of a trauma. When you have an actual memory take over that is called a flashback. A flashback is a trauma trigger that takes over the mind and body as though you are reliving a dramatic past event.
Trauma triggers can come suddenly and unexpectedly because Satan wants to use them against us to keep us under his control. He does not want us going well or connecting with Jesus. He likes to throw these trauma triggers at us when we are least expecting them to completely throw us off.
When we are triggered by any type of memory of past trauma, it is the alter that lived through it that is being most affected by it. When I first began inner healing, I didn’t understand when I was being triggered. I would just lose control over my emotions and thoughts and feel helpless and scared. It didn’t seem like there was a way to stop the extreme emotions I was experiencing.
Now, after several years of therapy, I can more often than not recognize what’s happening and pull out of it. I have started to be able to discern when it’s the reaction of a part versus my own normal reaction. Extreme reactions have been such a normal part of my life that it took a lot of work to not overreact to even the smallest things. Now I know that those types of reactions are only normal for trauma, and not for being connected to Christ.
Once you begin to understand that you have alters trying to communicate through these trauma triggers, you might be able to help them through compassion and reason. Even a general dialogue of reassurance and hope can begin to calm things down. For example, when I realize I have a part that is really struggling, I try to talk generally to my inside system. You don’t have to talk directly to the part struggling to be able to shift things on the inside.
So I would say something like this: “I know how hard it is for you right now. I know how much you are hurting. I know very bad things happened to you and how terrible it feels. But those are all things from the past. The body is safe now, and those people that hurt you cannot hurt you now unless you let them. I want to help you. I’m working on finding a way to do that. In the meantime, I would like to help you connect with Jesus.”
This is just a general example and it can go many different ways, but I find that alters feeling heard and understood gives them hope. You may not be able to do more than that, and that’s OK. This is just a way to try to be stable and calm to your inner system.
Another way to help calm down trauma triggers is to do a collage. A collage is just a series of pictures or word pictures that your parts can use to communicate with you. When alters have an outlet in which to communicate it can help release some of the pain they are carrying, which in turn helps you to feel more emotionally stable.
2. Programming
One of the first things I learned early on was how much I was doing that was actually reprogramming me. Mind control programming is the number one way Satan keeps us controlled, and if we don’t become aware of ways we are being exposed to it, we are going to feel tormented by its effects.
One of the worst ways I was allowing myself to be reprogrammed is by reading and researching about Satanic ritual abuse and mind control programming. From my experience, the majority of those who are educating others about these sensitive topics have not yet reached a place of healing where they are able to keep their parts from using programming and witchcraft on others. These means their occult loyal alters are coming through their words astrally to run assignments to keep others programmed. These people can have the best intentions in the world, but if they don’t understand what their alters are doing, they cannot stop it.
When we are still in the early stages of deprogramming, we must be very careful not to expose ourselves to potential triggers. The programmers use words, features, symbols, sounds and hand gestures to trigger programming to run. This means that anytime we are exposed to these things, we are going to have programming run and it’s going to have terrible effects on us.
It is best to try to avoid these triggers when you can. That means staying away from obvious sources that can trigger programming. Things like religion, sermons, worship music, family, the occult, Freemasonry, Satanism, mind control programming, violence, bloodshed, rituals, abuse, trauma, witchcraft/magic, etc. and anything related to or teaching about these things, including books, articles, news articles, tv, documentaries, movies and music.
It is quite impossible to do this on your own or discern whether or not something is potentially harmful. There are some days when you will be able to pray to hear if something is going to trigger you and some days you just can’t. It is on those days we must be even more diligent to protect ourselves from the occult trying to destroy us.
We are never going to navigate this perfectly, and there will be days we watch a movie or read an article that wreaks havoc inside us. However, as healing comes over the years, we will become less sensitive and even to the point of not being affected at all.
We need to rejoice and have hope that while we may have to walk away from things we love or enjoy, we still have Jesus, who can fulfill our every need and desire.
3. Witchcraft
At the beginning of my healing journey, I had to pray against witchcraft daily. It was a huge uphill battle for me to realize how deeply witchcraft affected my everyday life. It took even longer for me to recognize some of the reason witchcraft was affecting me so deeply was that I too was doing it. It’s only natural for a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse to do witchcraft because it is taught from a very early age.
I have several prayers that you can pray through to help you combat not only witchcraft coming at you but also coming from you. It’s important to not feel frightened or even angry at yourself or others for doing witchcraft. Giving in to these feelings will only increase any agreements you have with witchcraft, and intensify the effects of it. We need to have compassion and mercy for those that do witchcraft, even our own parts because doing witchcraft is a sign of pain and disconnection with Jesus.
We all need Jesus desperately, and none of us can do this life without Him. When we do, it results in witchcraft and rebellion, and the best thing we can do is to continually surrender our lives, thoughts, and feelings back over to Jesus, even if it means doing it several times a day.
And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.”
John 9:2-3
4. Astral Travel
Astral travel is something that I was in denial about for a long time. I did not want to think that I was astral projecting out of the body, especially as a born again believer in Jesus Christ. However, I could not help alters that felt it necessary to leave the body until I came to terms with this truth. It is hard to know when you have parts leaving the body, but it is safe to assume that as a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse, you probably have parts traveling often.
I still have a hard time dealing with the issue of astral travel, but when I do find parts that are still traveling, I help them to come back and try to reason with them about why it is dangerous. When we have parts that leave the body it is an open door for other spirits to come in, whether that be human spirits, demonic spirits or other higher ranking spirits. It also does not help other people to leave the body.
Often times we have parts that belief leaving our body or going into another body is going to somehow help them or ourselves, but they don’t understand the serious consequences of doing so. We need to have lots of grace and mercy for these parts and understand that they don’t have all of the information we do and are often very immature. We can pray daily for angels to bring our parts back to the body, cleansing them and removing anything that is not of our humanity from them.
5. Astral Rituals
Astral rituals can deeply affect us, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Most people don’t realize that astral rituals even exist, let alone how easily they can be drawn into them without being aware. An astral ritual is a ritual performed by human spirits in the spiritual realm. It can be done over us, to try to affect change within us, or it can be used to draw out our parts, enticing them to join in. Sometimes our parts willing go to join in these rituals and sometimes they are forced to join in. Either way, it spells torment for our bodies, minds, and souls.
If you feel tormented in any way, it is very likely because of an astral ritual. You can liken an astral ritual to voodoo; it’s like someone took a replica of you and is cursing it and punishing it, while you feel every effect of what is being done. It’s a terrible feeling, and it sends the entire inner system into chaos and pain.
I do have a prayer to stop astral rituals but it does not always work. When you have a part in agreement with the ritual, it makes it harder to have control over it. It takes time in healing to bring more of your alters into freedom and to accept Jesus Christ as their savior. You can ask Jesus to dissipate astral rituals and bring your parts back, but if that doesn’t work, then you will need to work on the other tools I will give next.
6. Prayer and Praise
Prayer and praise are mighty weapons of warfare against the devil and his schemes. Even when you don’t feel like praying, you can pray in tongues, or repeat prayers that I have written for you. Prayers don’t have to be long or have specific words in them to be effective. As long as you call on the name of Jesus, you are praying a powerful prayer! Sometimes just saying His name is all we can and need to do.
Praise and worship are the most important tools we have in our armor. When you don’t feel like praising is the time you need to praise the most. When you feel like giving up or giving in, because you feel hopeless and defeated, that is when you need to praise Jesus the most. Praise does not have to be complicated or elaborate. It can be as simple as “I praise you Jesus” if that is all you can muster. By aligning your conscious mind with praise you can help bring the rest of you into alignment with who God created you to be as well.
I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Philippians 3:12-14
7. Stand on the Truth
The Word of God is the only truth that we can cling onto. It is our constant rock in a world that is ever changing. I have scripture posted all over the walls of my home that I use to help bring me back into the truth. I use them to bring myself back to who God is, and who He is for me. I also use them as a prayer when I have no other words.
I have also spent a lot of time in God’s Word, meditating and memorizing, so the Holy Spirit can bring these truths back to me when I need them. There are times that I am so triggered by trauma or programming that I can’t even think of one Word of scripture, but if I can even see one line of God’s promises to me, it helps me. There are always going to be times where things are hard, but when we hold on to the truth, that God loves us, never forsakes us, protects us, provides for us, and is our ever-present help in times of trouble, we can use that as our armor to reign our thoughts back int to alignment with Christ.
8. Purpose and Hope
Never forget your reason for hope. You are here because of Jesus Christ and the sacrifice He has made for you to live. The devil has wanted to take your life, but God has chosen for you to live. Not only that, but He chose you before time began, to be called out, into the glorious hope of His salvation, to bring Him glory through your life and your testimony. Your testimony – your story, is so very important to this world. It doesn’t matter if only one person ever hears it, I guarantee you that that person desperately needed to hear it.
You are a light in this world, and you were not meant to be hidden, but to be used to testify to the glory and wonder of God. Your life matters. It is important to God, and He will use every bit of your suffering to bring about good for you. You may not be able to see it now, but if you hold on to hope, you will see the fruits of His love. He is good, and He loves you.
I want you to know you are not in this fight alone. I am writing this post in order to help myself, as I have struggled through an incredibly difficult week. With Satanic ritual days and huge life events happening this past week, I have been triggered beyond belief. I have had many ups and downs and almost had a total breakdown at one point. But I made it. I survived, and I will keep on surviving because God has got this.
There is nothing too big or too terrible for the love and power of Christ to reach it. You are not too far gone and you are certainly not lost. Jesus has you, right now, at this moment, and He is not going to let you go. He is making all things new, day by day, renewing and restoring you to who He created you to be, until the day He returns. He will not fail to finish the good work He started in you.
Until then, keep on persevering, and holding on to hope. We are in this together; all of us; united together for the cause to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ and the hope of eternal salvation in Him.
Don’t be intimidated in any way by your enemies. This will be a sign to them that they are going to be destroyed, but that you are going to be saved, even by God himself. For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him. We are in this struggle together. You have seen my struggle in the past, and you know that I am still in the midst of it.
Philippians 1:28-30
