When you are a child living through ritual abuse the people who are programming you are banking on your need to bond to a parental figure and be loved and accepted. This is the foundation for much of the programming that gets put in. God has designed children and parents to have an attachment and it’s a beautiful picture of the heart of the Father for us, but Satan has co-opted it for his purposes.
When I was very young I had multiple people who stood in the place of mother and father. They would nurture me and show themselves to be good and loving parents. Then they would turn around and torture me in unspeakable ways. They would play off of each other and one “parent” would hurt me while the other came in to rescue me. There was no end to the ways they manipulated the bonds to create trauma bonds.
One such way that the parental bonds were abused was by creating a mother/wife or father/husband relationship. It is a sick and perverted relationship that I had with all of my programmers, including my father. They would start by working on the need to attach – safety, basic needs for care, love, approval, etc.- and then build on those needs by taking them away.
When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the LORD will take care of me.
Psalm 27:10
When you begin to deprive an infant or very young child of the necessities of life such as food or a clean diaper, that alone is enough to create trauma. When you then add to that trauma intermittent and unexpected physical and psychological abuse, it compounds the trauma and adds confusion about your identity. You no longer feel safe needing food or using the bathroom because you may be punished for things out of your control.
So when a parent/rescuer comes in to save you from the parent/abuser you become even more attached to them than you normally would be. It’s another form of trauma bond where you are still united in trauma. When the parent/rescuer continues to rescue you, and then intermittently abuses you, that parent can become a sort of god to you. They seem to have the same powers of god, wielding both good and evil over you.
As an infant and very young child, you don’t understand any greater concept of God than this. Your parent can tell you they are god and manipulate and dominate you and you will believe them. You will do anything to stop the abuse and keep them happy and so you respond by fawning, which is a trauma response where you suppress all your basic needs to please someone.
And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the LORD Almighty.”
2 Corinthians 2:18
This is all part of the preparation to change the parent relationship to a marriage relationship. As a ritual abuse survivor, you have many types of Satanic marriages and covenants but the ones to your parent/handlers are the foremost. When you have such a complicated and perverse relationship with your programmers you are more likely to stay connected to them and therefore your programming.
Some of these relationships are more prevalent in your life and the act of connecting to them sexually and marrying them happens multiple times throughout your life. Once this dominating role in your life has been firmly established it may become more of an astral connection, however, some people have these relationships in their daily lives with family or other trusted people.
I have had many such dominating relationships with people who have tried to control me both by directly being in my life and indirectly by internal trauma bonds and astral communication or ai. When someone is at this level of power in the occult, they can astral travel to any place at any time. They also have access to underground systems of travel where a person can travel across the United States (or further) to show up on your doorstep and reprogram you.
then He will restore you from captivity and have compassion on you and gather you from all the nations to which the LORD your God has scattered you.
Deuteronomy 30:3
There are some distinct signs that a person has been bonded through deep trauma to another person and is fawning to them. Some of those signs are the same as a toxic relationship. The abuser pressures you to give in to their way, you feel the need to acquiesce to whatever they want, the abuser is verbally and emotionally abusive, and no matter how abusive the relationship is you continue to make excuses on their behalf. Sometimes you feel obsessed with this person – you can’t stop thinking about them and you will do anything to make them accept you and love you.
Another way in which this programmer/parent relationship plays out is the mimicking of the parent’s behavior. As a young child, it’s normal to learn behavior by copying what you see. When you are being programmed in Satanic rituals, they will purposefully play on that and teach you that it is normal to astral travel, hurt others, use your strong emotions as witchcraft, and more.
They also go much further with this model and teach the young child that they are this parent/programmer. They will use the trauma bonds they created and attach themselves to a fractured part of the child. They will tell the part of the child during the abuse that they are that parent/programmer, and this teaches the child to be their abuser. Not only that but the trauma bond teaches the child to always let the abuser in when they come through astrally.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
When you believe you are the same as your abuser, you have no problem believing the worst about yourself and then punishing yourself for it. You desperately want to be good, but they have instilled the belief that you are worthless, evil, and unredeemable so that no matter how you perform for them, you will always fail.
When you fail, you must hurt yourself for it. Now, you have a system set up inside of you that keeps you closely aligned with the programmers without suspecting a thing. You believe the programmed thoughts of shame and self-hatred are yours. It sounds like your voice in your head, so you don’t question it. You just believe you are the worst of the worst and continue to punish yourself for it.
Programmers can travel astrally to and from where you are and when these young occult loyal parts open the door for them as they were trained, these programmers can come in and reinforce all of the programmed thoughts and beliefs. Often a survivor will have parts that will monitor and report to the programmers so when they are trying to get free in any way, the programmer can come in either physically or astrally and make sure the programming put in place sticks.
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
Colossians 3:2
It has taken me years of deprogramming and healing to come to a place where I can recognize when my thoughts are not my own. I have struggled severely with suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, and self-hatred. I believed without a doubt that those were my thoughts and feelings and I always found something in my life to reinforce why they were true.
I have believed I am a terrible person who has done great evil and that God doesn’t care what happens to me. I have begged Him to let me die because the pain has been so unbearable from the torment of these people. I have been stuck in toxic relationships with them and I didn’t even know it because they are not in my life physically. Some of these people are even dead now, and yet I have an astral relationship with them.
Today I realized I was listening to the words of another programmer again and instead of feeling helpless, I felt strong. I know that Jesus is the one who holds my identity and that I am one with His Spirit. I couldn’t believe that for a long time because the voice of these programmers was so strong, but thank God He has brought me enough freedom to know the truth.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1:5
I am redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. I am held in my Father’s righteous right hand. I am loved and valued by God, and my identity comes from His Spirit. I am sweet, kind, loyal, and loving – how God made me to be. I am covered by the righteousness of Christ. I am no longer a slave but adopted into sonship through Christ and a co-heir with Him.
If you are reading this blog post then you are too. It’s time to throw off the chains of slavery and take up the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God and tell the enemy “I don’t believe you anymore. I know who my real Father is, and He’s the King of The World.”
God has given you the breath in your lungs and while you may have experienced some horrifically painful things, there is still joy written on your heart. God is with you and He has been with you every step of the way. He has interceded on your behalf so you could stand in this moment and worship Him with your life. Don’t give up my friend. We are in this together.
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13
