Every Christian has a call on their lives, an anointing of the Holy Spirit to walk with Him with the unique gifts and abilities He has given them. For some, their gift is of service, for some music, for some preaching the Gospel. There are many gifts and each person has a call tailored specifically to who God created them to be.
However, Satan uses this information to create a call or anointing for darkness that he desires to lead people into. If a person is a ritual abuse survivor – and many people who are unaware of it – they have been indoctrinated into a version of God’s call that has been twisted for the enemy’s purpose.
For example, if you love to worship and are gifted in musical abilities, the enemy will use those abilities and create pathways to the second heaven and internal parts that will love and worship Satan. The person will be saved and love the Lord but will have no conscious understanding that they have parts of themselves that also worship Lucifer.
For God’s gifts and his call can never be withdrawn.
Romans 11:29
When they are worshipping, especially in a church setting, they will outwardly worship the Lord, but they will have dissociated parts of themselves opening portals to second heaven, calling on spirits, and worshiping Lucifer. This is a part of the Antichrist agenda that has been set up to turn the church away from God and toward the Antichrist.
Another example is someone who moves in the prophetic. They have a deep relationship with the Lord, but they also have parts of themselves that are a medium for demonic spirits or other entities. They can easily hear from the Lord and at the same time hear from these false Jesus’s and have no idea. The false Jesus can taint or add to what the person is hearing from God and yet it all flows seamlessly together.
When I first began to understand this I was very upset because I have the gift of a prophetic seer. My first experience with Jesus was Him sitting next to me holding me and loving me and it changed my life. I began to seek out more of these experiences because all I wanted was to be in His presence. That is until things started to change and Jesus seemed to make sexual advances toward me.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2
Up until that point I had been very comfortable seeing in the spirit and prophesying. I was a new Christian and I was excited to use my gifts in hopes of helping people. I didn’t understand that the enemy had tried to hijack my gifts to turn me into a medium for all manner of spirits, including a false Jesus. I didn’t even know what a false Jesus was.
So when my experiences with the presence of Jesus turned sexual I was terrified. This was not the sweet and gentle Jesus who showed me what real love was. I continued to try to spend time with Him, but soon it became so traumatizing that I had to stop trying. I learned through this experience how I was abused by people who would dress up as Jesus when I was a child and the impact that had on me.
Even though I no longer felt safe to have that level of experience with Jesus, I still desperately wanted to know Jesus and have that deep relationship. I continued to listen for His voice and I just wanted to please Him. I never made a move without prayer in hopes that I could get approval or direction for my life. I didn’t want to make any mistakes or make God angry, yet this only led to more frustration as the things I was hearing seemed to bring confusion.
For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. 1 Corinthians
14:33a
There was no clear path to hearing “correctly”. I often heard things that seemed to lead me toward decisions that brought me more pain. I assumed I was the problem, and I began to shut down. It has been a long path to understand how I was turned into a medium for the occult and used as a portal to usher in spirits.
I was horrendously tortured to create this system set up inside of me so that I would obey, but it never changed who I was or the call on my life as a prophetic seer. It doesn’t matter what the enemy has done to me – I still have a deep connection with God and He can speak through me in powerful ways to bring healing and hope to others.
Yet through all of the hurt and feelings of betrayal, I have fought my gift. I have denied it and run away from it. I have hated it and hated myself for having it because if I can’t be a pure source or have a pure untainted connection to God, then who am I? Am I evil? Am I a Christian? It seems sickening to me to even think I could do any work for the enemy while believing it was God.
Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?
James 2:5
That is exactly what Satan is counting on when he sets these things up. He knows the pain it will cause a person to believe they are using their God-given gifts for evil or connecting to evil spirits at the same time as God. It doesn’t even make sense logically, especially in the mind of a Christian who doesn’t believe they can be demonized.
Yet it is possible and quite common. Many people expose places like Bethel or Hillsong for their demonic practices and false teachings, but there are many songs I listen to that deeply touch my soul and spirit alike. I can listen to lyrics and hear the deep levels of pain that come from a ritual abuse survivor who has seen Jesus rescue them during ritual abuse.
Part of being a Christian is a mixture of old wine and the new as we work through the process of sanctification. We cannot be saved and immediately become perfect, especially with the amount of trauma and programming we experience in this world. No matter how great you think your life is, you have been affected by trauma and compromised by mind control programming. It is everywhere.
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6
I have had to learn to have so much grace for myself and others. I used to feel that I could never listen to Bethel or Hillsong because of the Satanism in their churches, and because I have been in rituals at Bethel I may never really listen to them again. However, I have had enough healing and freedom that there are many worship songs I can enjoy and worship with because the Spirit of the Lord is in His people.
When the Lord gives a gift, He does not rescind it. The devil isn’t lord over these gifts just because he can use them or twist them. When a person truly worships the Lord and moves in His Spirits, He moves. He is there and the devil doesn’t get to hinder anything he does because of human imperfection.
We were never meant to be perfect in this lifetime. We are meant to be weak so that we can use the strength of the Lord to do His work. People get things wrong or make mistakes. They get confused or led astray – and if it’s the work of the enemy it’s not their fault. It is not my fault I have been a medium for the occult or that Satan has used me. I am still anointed with gifts from God Most High and nothing can change or alter that.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
The important thing when walking in our gifts and call is to live a surrendered life and part of that is surrendering to the process of deliverance and healing. Every single person needs deliverance and healing, especially if you are in any type of ministry, no matter how small. God is merciful and full of grace for where we are at and He is always going to offer us a way to grow closer to Him. That’s what healing is – less of our baggage and more of His Spirit.
I have taken time away from doing ministry multiple times as I have had to come to terms with how the process of connecting with people affects me or how the past has affected my current capacity. Most importantly, I have taken time off so that I can make sure I am in line with God’s Spirit. Yet, at the same time, I have to have the grace to remember that I am living my life to glorify God. It’s not about me, my gifts, or what I can or cannot do.
Every step I take towards Jesus is a victory and a miracle. Every time I pray or write on my blog, I am only doing it by the power of Christ within me. Everything else is secondary. So, for today, continue to take the step that you are on and recognize that it is Christ that makes you whole and not what you do. Bless you my friends.
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Philippians 1:9-11
