• Defeating The Spirit Of Death

    October 14, 2020

    Pain has been the theme and even motto of my life – a theme that I have embraced fully and without question as it was so deeply ingrained in the root of my psyche. I began writing poetry reflecting pain and the spirit of death when I was thirteen – a time when my life was in the most turmoil I had ever known. My mother had just sacrificed me to Baal and my father ritually produced a child within me. I was pregnant with a Nephilim hybrid and I thought I was dying. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall…

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    Living In A Pain Identity

    March 2, 2020

    During the past few years, I have had to come to some hard conclusions about how I have been living my life. You see, even though I write about what I have had to endure, I have still worked very hard to live as though it never happened. Every week in my therapy sessions I have to come face to face with my past abuse and the direct effect it has on my life today, yet once I walk away from that session I forget it all and pretend it’s not true. Pain has been a big part of my…

  • How Satanic Ritual Days Affect Survivors

    February 24, 2020

    Today as I write this it is a high Satanic ritual day, and I am once again reminded of the detrimental effects these days have on survivors of ritual abuse. Over the years of healing, I have definitely learned to cope with ritual days better, but I realize that there are many other survivors out there who are truly suffering on these ritual days and they don’t know why. It is no secret that Satan wants to be God and therefore uses every opportunity to counterfeit the things of God for his Kingdom of Darkness. So just as God has…

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    Faith To Move Mountains

    November 4, 2019

    I have written many times about having dissociative personalities and how they become loyal to the occult through Satanic ritual abuse and mind control programming, but what I haven’t talked about is the current struggles I am having that come from the repercussions of my denial. You see, as a new Christian I firmly believed that I was going to be born again of the Spirit of God, and everything that was bad or evil would be washed away. I would be clean and pure in the eyes of God, and that meant all of my occult ties would be…

  • I Was Abused In A Satanic Halloween Ritual

    October 21, 2019

    Two years ago, as a brand new Christian, I came to the realization I had to let go of Halloween. As a non-Christian I absolutely loved Halloween. Obsessed really. I loved all things horror and gore, as a matter of fact. Zombies, witches, vampires, you name it. I was fascinated by all of it. We had quite the collection of Halloween decorations sitting in our garage that we had been working on for years. Costumes, skull lights, a severed head, tombstones, body parts, etc. All to make our yard look nice and festive for the Halloween season. It was actually…

  • How I Learned To Astral Travel

    September 9, 2019

    Astral travel or astral projection is when a part of your soul leaves the body to travel through the astral plane. The astral plane is compromised of a series of electromagnetic ley lines that interconnect throughout the universe to create a magnetic field of travel. Because our bodies use electricity to run the body, it is easy for our souls to use these electromagnetic ley lines to travel on. Electromagnetic fields are everywhere, including cell phones, microwave ovens, computers, power lines, and electrical wiring, making the places a person can astral travel almost limitless. This means a person can astral…

  • Why I Gave Up Success For Jesus

    July 22, 2019

    When I first began writing this blog I did so at the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I was still a very new Christian at the time, but I was inspired to share my story of how I came out of the occult and New Age into a relationship with Jesus Christ. I had told my testimony to several people that I met through church and they always walked away praising God for His glory, so I knew sharing my testimony was important. My blog started off very slowly with very little growth or views. I then made my first…

  • Why I Blamed God For My Pain

    July 15, 2019

    Pain is a terrible thing, but when you have been steeped in the mire of it for your whole life, it becomes a life force of its own. Pain has owned me, had power over me, and commanded me. It has nurtured me and taught me the foundations on which to build my life: suffering, torture, mistrust, hate, revenge, control. From the time I was very young I was under the grips of pain; it was truly all I ever knew. While all babies only want tender loving care and affection, all I received was hatred and admonishment. How can…

  • Why I Haven’t Given My Whole Self To Jesus

    July 8, 2019

    When I first came into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, I committed my whole life to Him. I said, “take me, God, use me as your tool!” And I meant every word of it. The problem was that I wasn’t giving my whole self to Jesus. I was only dedicating a fraction of my soul to Jesus because most of my soul was not mine to give. Before I was born, before I was even a thought in my mother’s mind, my life was given away to the devil. My ancestors, going hundreds of years back, had begun promising…

  • dissociative identities

    How I Live With Dissociative Identities

    June 10, 2019

    I have Dissociative Identity Disorder or DID, the same thing as Multiple Personality Disorder. I have lived with it all of my life and had no idea I had it. Many people, like me, have a dissociative disorder and live normal lives and have no idea they have one. They may struggle with many problems in life, but they rationalize all their problems away and learn to cope and deal with life on a daily basis. Dissociation is a process in where a person disconnects from themselves in order to deal with trauma. It is completely normal and anyone who…