• Finding Your Identity In The Truth

    March 9, 2020

    For me, growing up with trial and torment daily led me to believe that trials and pain are horrible things I need to avoid. I have lived most of my life desperately trying to remove all sources of pain or problems, whether it meant walking away from friendships or even completely isolating myself. It a situation or person brought me pain on even the smallest level, I was ready to bolt. It is only recently that I have really found meaning in the verses of scripture that teach us that trials and tribulations are not bad, but ordained by God…

  • pain idenity

    Living In A Pain Identity

    March 2, 2020

    During the past few years, I have had to come to some hard conclusions about how I have been living my life. You see, even though I write about what I have had to endure, I have still worked very hard to live as though it never happened. Every week in my therapy sessions I have to come face to face with my past abuse and the direct effect it has on my life today, yet once I walk away from that session I forget it all and pretend it’s not true. Pain has been a big part of my…

  • How Satanic Ritual Days Affect Survivors

    February 24, 2020

    Today as I write this it is a high Satanic ritual day, and I am once again reminded of the detrimental effects these days have on survivors of ritual abuse. Over the years of healing, I have definitely learned to cope with ritual days better, but I realize that there are many other survivors out there who are truly suffering on these ritual days and they don’t know why. It is no secret that Satan wants to be God and therefore uses every opportunity to counterfeit the things of God for his Kingdom of Darkness. So just as God has…

  • luciferian agenda

    The Luciferian Agenda Against God’s Holy Spirit

    January 27, 2020

    In my last post, I explained my journey into the Charismatic movement and the profound effect it has had on my life. I am still working through disconnecting from the false belief systems I held and wrestling with other beliefs that have brought a lot of confusion. One of those beliefs is the continued use of the gifts of the Spirit, or what some refer to as the “sign gifts”. These gifts are prophecy, healing, tongues, discerning of spirits, words of knowledge and miracles. All these gifts are listed in 1 Corinthians 14:11 as gifts given and empowered by the…

  • new age chrisitianity

    New Age Christianity

    January 13, 2020

    When I first started going to church I was motivated by some deeper internal need to connect with a power source outside of myself. I was reluctant to call it God, but after years of searching for meaning and fulfillment in my life through various means, I had finally come to the end of my rope. At first, I felt ashamed to even be in a church, but one Sunday shortly after we began going to church, the pastor called for each of us to kneel at our sins and repent of our sins. My first thought was “this is…

  • self-sabotage

    Spiritual Attack Or Self-Sabotage

    January 6, 2020

    When I first became aware of spiritual attack as a new Christian, I believed that everything bad that I was experiencing was because of it. The more I learned about the spiritual realm and the inner workings of Satan’s kingdom the more I believed I was a victim of spiritual attack daily. To a point, it was true, but the more I have come through inner healing I have learned some important things about what I have perceived about spiritual attack. As a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse, I live with several trauma-related mental health disorders, such as Dissociative Identity…

  • Counting Every Blessing

    December 23, 2019

    Today I realized, I actually have a good life. You may think that a strange thought for me, but I have to admit there are still many days when I struggle to continue on. Living with mental health conditions such as DID and PTSD makes life very difficult. The struggle to cope with all of the repercussions of the abuse and torture is a daily dilemma. There are days where it is very easy and others where I am basically a pile of sludge that can’t move. Yet my life with Jesus Christ has done a total 180. Before I…

  • denial

    A Place For Denial

    December 16, 2019

    As I reflect on this year and what I have been through, I just have to praise the Lord. I have come a long way this year in my healing journey, to a place where I feel like I am truly being renewed. I have spent so much time this year living from a place of pain because it was easier for me to live in denial than it was to open my eyes to the truth. Not to say there is something wrong with denial, because it plays such an important role in our lives sometimes. For me, denial…

  • antichrist christmas

    The Antichrist Side Of Christmas

    December 9, 2019

    For many years I have been a huge proponent for Christmas. Even though I have known and celebrated the pagan side of Christmas and it’s counterpart Winter Solstice, I have still felt that Christmas is not inherently evil or wrong for Christians to celebrate. I have focused on the good in Christmas and tried to remove as much of the pagan rituals we incorporate as I could. That being said, I have also seen another side of Christmas that is often less talked about. The Antichrist side. I want to preface this by saying I am not against Christmas or…

  • ancestral spirits

    How Ancestral Spirits Control Future Generations

    December 2, 2019

    Growing up I made countless vows to myself to never be like my parents, specifically like my mother. I grew up in such an atmosphere of hate and shame, feeling so worthless and unloved, so when I gave birth to my first son, I vowed I would be different. And I was in many ways. Unlike my parents, I held my children as much as possible, and even utilized baby carriers when I could. I co-slept, breastfed, and stayed at home, giving my time and attention to my children. I wanted to be the very best mom, but I knew…