• From Darkness To Light

    September 23, 2024

    For a long time, my daily brain patterns have been to look for danger or defend myself against anything that might bring pain. I knew nothing else, and looking for things that brought joy or hope was nearly impossible. It was like I was hard-wired to feed off of pain and fear and reject joy. Now after almost 10 years of intensive inner healing, I can finally say I don’t live in daily torment or pain. It’s an incredible thing to be able to say this. I lived in so much pain and suffering that I had no hope of…

  • Finding The Path Of Eternal Life

    November 2, 2023

    For the Christian, our hope is in the eternal life with God that comes with the salvation of Jesus Christ. For some Christians, it is easy to focus on the eternal perspective of life and not get caught up in discouragement as we watch the Antichrist agenda unfold before our eyes. Yet for others, seeing the suffering and evil in this world is unbearable as we turn our eyes off of Jesus and onto what the enemy is doing. I know I for one have struggled greatly with focusing on my pain and the evil that is so pervasive in…

  • Hope For The Future

    August 28, 2023

    I have been keeping myself busy lately with projects around my home and it is very refreshing for me. I have spent so much of my life being controlled and all my energy going into surviving. I am finally in a place where I feel like I can start thriving. It has been such a long, arduous process to get here, so I am trying to enjoy just being a person. That may sound strange to some people, but when you are so stripped of your humanity that you can barely have your own thoughts and all your choices are…

  • Finding Restoration

    July 11, 2023

    I heard a quote the other day that said “Jesus isn’t in the business of fixing you, He’s in the business of making you  whole.” I really loved that quote because I never thought of Jesus not wanting to fix us but to restore us. I have always considered myself a work in progress – a hot mess that needs a major rehaul. To think that God does not see me that way, but instead sees the beauty in the finished work ahead, is very hopeful and reassuring. What is the meaning of restoration? According to the dictionary, it means…

  • Keeping In Perfect Peace

    June 29, 2023

    What does it mean to keep perfect peace when your body and mind have been in trauma mode for your whole life? How do you surrender to the Lord and lean not on your own understanding when everything inside of you is screaming in fear? That is the problem I have lived with since becoming a Christian ten years ago. At first, I just thought I had an anger problem. And sure, I have been extremely angry. But what I have perceived as anger has been my response to trauma triggers, and continued trauma happening to me. Everything in my…

  • Finding Jesus In Your Suffering

    January 19, 2023

    For a long time I felt very angry for the amount of pain and suffering I had in my life. I blamed God, my family, my husband, and even myself. I believed that my life was meant for suffering and that God created me to suffer. It was incredibly hard for me to see anything else outside of that belief because it was so rooted in my identity. The problem with that belief was it is so far away from the identity God has given to me. God has called me to bring hope through my story, but not even…

  • Blessing Your Spirit

    January 5, 2022

    When God created us before time, He created us first as a spirit. God breathed us into being and we had a life before we had a body or soul. It’s not until God forms us in the womb that we develop a soul and body. Yet once we are born into this physical world we don’t remember the spiritual world. Our spirits are waiting to be renewed and brought back to life again in Christ. During the time we live without Christ, we allow our souls, or our flesh, to dominate our lives. We followed the prince of the power…

  • Biblical Identity Declarations

    December 27, 2021

    Many of us suffer from an identity crisis. We have completely forgotten our Biblical identity. We take up the identity of the enemy because we believe his lies over God’s truth. We also take on identity from the roles we play in this life. Parent, spouse, friend, co-worker, business owner, etc. become our identity instead of who God actually says we are. None of the roles we play or jobs we hold define us, they are simply one small facet of who we are. When we use shame, pain, or self-hate to define ourselves, we are agreeing with the devil…

  • redemptive power

    Surrendering To God’s Redemptive Power

    October 12, 2021

    Over the years Jesus has done miraculous healing after miraculous healing in my life. I have seen redemption in so many ways, and recently I have been so thankful for how undeniable redemption has become. For years I believed I would never again be able to step into a church because the occult loyal alters in me would always reach out to the occult power in the church. Most churches seem to have a hidden coven within them, and attending church seemed to just fuel the darkness within me. Church after church I attended felt like torment as I was…

  • trauma triggers

    Coping With Trauma Triggers

    September 29, 2021

    This past week has been very trying for me as I learn to navigate through extreme trauma triggers. The other day was my birthday, which I expected to be difficult. All ritual abuse survivors have been abused repeatedly on their birthdays, and so even if you have come to a place of freedom from physical rituals, you still have to battle through the spiritual aspect of it. Not only does the spiritual attack from astral rituals and human spirit harassment come into play, but also dealing with the emotional trauma of abuse that was perpetrated repeatedly. Even if you don’t…