Two years ago, in the midst of the despair in my suffering, Jesus spoke to me saying “I am making all things new”, and He gave me this verse:
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 43:19
I wanted to believe Him. I needed to believe Him, and I held on to that promise choosing to hope in something that looked utterly impossible. Yet as the days, weeks, and months passed by, I never saw a change in my condition. I was in a time of great suffering and torment and was struggling against it daily. I was not only wrestling with my occult loyal alters, but also with the oppression over me from many outside sources.
I expected to be made new and whole, and I expected it to happen miraculously. I had been walking in a fog of oppression for so long, tormented so terribly, and I just wanted it to stop. Eventually, I let go of the hope of that promise, and indeed the words of the promise themselves.
That is until today. This morning, after another long struggle with torment, I heard:
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.
Revelation 3:20
And as I read the verse I heard that still small voice “I am making all things new.” That promise that was forgotten still remains and stands true, yet I had given up hope on it. Have my circumstances changed? Somewhat. I have had a very long journey of breaking down strongholds and healing occult loyal alters, but I have still been in the thick of the battle against severe oppression and torment.
I asked Jesus this morning why He allowed so many horrible things to happen to me. It is so hard to feel all the anguish of a life of abuse and then believe that God is for me and protecting me. Yet Jesus answer to me was “For the glory of My Kingdom.”
How can my suffering be for the glory of God’s Kingdom? It made no sense to me. I felt baffled and a little dejected because it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. And He gave me this verse:
And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.
Romans 8:17
Christ Himself suffered for us. He endured the pain of all of our sins on the cross. He suffered for us and His suffering has actually minimized ours. I know in the midst of pain it does not feel like there is any help. It seems like you are drowning in torment and there is no way out. At times it even seems as though God has abandoned you, but He has not. He is right there in the midst of everything you are going through, taking it all for you, and you are experiencing only a fraction of it because Jesus is bearing the rest.
I know it is hard to believe this, but you are victorious. If you are stuck in bed and can’t get up, if you are drowning in a river of tears, if you are begging for the mercy of death, if you are pressed down upon so it’s hard to breathe, whatever your oppression is, you are victorious.
You are a child of God most high and heir to His Kingdom. There is nothing that can stop this because it was put into motion before you were ever born. He has chosen you, specifically, for such a time as this, because it gave Him pleasure to do so.
To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne.
Revelation 3:21
You are the one who is victorious, and in just a little while, God will wipe every tear from your eyes, and your pain will be no more because you will be seated with Jesus on His throne.
Today is the day He is making all things new, whether or not we can see it, but we must believe it. He is making all things new within you, as He molds and shapes you into a new creation in Christ. It is a process that lasts a lifetime, and you must be refined by the fire to do so. It is painful to be refined, but it is necessary if you want to be free to worship God with all of your heart and soul, in spirit and in truth.
But he knows where I am going.
And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold.
Job 23:10
We are in a war here on earth, and our enemy is fierce, vindictive, and cruel. He will not stop until God says it’s time, and until then we need to continue to strengthen ourselves on the Word so that we can endure. Do not turn a blind eye to his schemes and fall prey to his evil, but be diligent to seek out every door to your soul that has been opened to the enemy and break down his strongholds within you.
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.
1 Peter 4:12-13
