As a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse, I quickly learned that the Satanic ritual days that occur throughout the year are some of the hardest days for me. A Satanic ritual day is a day that is a planned ritual day that takes place on the same day every year. Satanists have hijacked almost every holiday as a ritual day for themselves, including every national holiday, every pagan ritual day, and many more in between.
When you grow up in the occult and are subject to ritual abuse they use these ritual days to set up programming that will be a constant reminder throughout the year. So every time a president’s birthday or national holiday comes up, we are sent programming to remember what the ritual abuse taught us. We are also trained to go to a ritual, whether it is physically or astrally.
It took a long time for me to stop physically attending rituals, even though I was unaware I was attending them. It was a tough road to understand the level of dissociation I had that kept me from knowing I was going to a ritual. At first my occult loyal alters were probably keeping me in rituals weekly, but eventually, I was only going sporadically.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Psalm 46:1
The signs of ritual abuse continuing were obvious in hindsight because my life would be disrupted into chaos. My husband and I would fight, my kids would go crazy, and I would fall apart emotionally. There is a huge difference in my life now, but I can see those same signs to a lesser degree on ritual days, which lets me know what’s happening.
I know I still have parts of me that astral travel and some that probably haven’t been in my physical body for a long time. They are residing in second heaven and therefore the the rituals they are a part of still affect me. It can be very frustrating to still be affected by rituals when you have worked so hard to leave the occult, but every step to freedom is a huge victory. Every year gets a little bit easier for me.
One of the biggest signs that I am being impacted by a ritual is the feeling of torment. At the beginning of my healing journey, I felt very tormented on almost every single holiday, whether it was a big holiday like Christmas or a lesser holiday like Star Wars Day. When I am being tormented I feel this deep level of suffering on every level. I might not feel physical pain, but my entire being resonates with suffering. I can be sitting in my house doing nothing, but I want to writhe on the floor and cry.
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.
Deuteronomy 31:6
I know not everyone feels torment to this degree. Other people may feel torment and not know what it is. They may be able to function through it. I have had times of ritual torment and still function to a degree. I think that it’s been good for me to have this experience because it has forced me to confront what is happening and not ignore it.
Astral rituals can be quite oppressive, but I have noticed that astral rituals at a church are even worse. I have been to church on many ritual days or days right before a ritual day, such as the 4th of July, Memorial Day, Christmas, etc. and the torment I have felt in church was astounding. Many, if not all churches have a coven and participate in Satanic rituals, at least astrally. However, in my search for a safe church, I have found many churches have a coven and do physical rituals.
Often the pastors and church leaders are in the coven and leading it. They are ritual abuse victims and don’t know it, and are carrying out the antichrist agenda in church. I have had to learn to have a lot of mercy for these people because many of them are victims and too afraid to step into freedom. However, we need to be wary of many wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God. For many false prophets have gone out into the world.
1 John 4:1
I have had to completely leave the church so I can continue to heal and be free from ritual abuse. The ritual abuse and trafficking I have experienced at church have been some of the worst I have known. These things are set up in the church so that we will believe God is evil or a betrayer. We often associate church leaders with God, and when they participate in our abuse it can feel the same as God abusing us.
It has taken me a long time to understand the effect of rituals on me. My denial has been so high that I have gone to church for years and ignored the torment I felt. When I am being ritually abused, or even just astrally, my stomach becomes very bloated, my head hurts or I have horrible brain fog. I find it difficult to think or make decisions and often feel confused. This is what I feel leading up to the torment I described earlier.
The best way I have found to deal with continued ritual activity is to start by cutting off any access that I have physically to anyone or any place where I might be abused. That means possibly family, friends, church, groups, the workplace, social media, etc. It has taken me years to cut off everything because I wanted so desperately to have a place to fit in or a group of people to belong to.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2
Last year was the first full year I didn’t participate in any groups or try to connect with friends or go to church. I cut off Facebook and other social media. I have made the most progress in my healing journey than I have ever before. I feel better than ever and I feel like a functioning adult who can handle my life for the first time.
I feel like I can think, my brain fog is almost completely gone, my body doesn’t hurt all the time, and a lot of my physical problems are manageable now. I am so thankful for the level of improvement I have had because I spent years in hopelessness believing I could never get better. Many days I am torment-free, but I still struggle with astral rituals and astral traveling.
Some other symptoms of ritual activity can be various aches and pains where you have been hurt either astrally or physically. There are things they can do that leave no marks, or they can use sorcery to hide sores or scars. You might also feel compelled to contact certain people or go to certain places. You might feel desperate, depressed, or suicidal for no apparent reason. Many signs can point to ritual activity and the Holy Spirit can reveal them to you.
But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.
Psalm 3:3
While there are many obvious days to look out for, there are also days that are not so obvious. Every full moon is a ritual day, as well as the 13th of every month. The local covens have weekly ritual days – mine was every Friday. Every solstice and equinox are ritual days, as well as days associated with the royal families and Hitler.
However, there doesn’t need to be a specific ritual day on the calendar for a ritual to happen. Rituals can be done to punish or reprogram a survivor who has been working on getting free. They can happen to connect you to a new master or handler. There is never human logic behind rituals, because they are supernatural events planned to cause chaos and pain.
No matter what happens, Jesus is with us. He is in every ritual standing in between us and our oppressors. He is in every moment with us, helping us to persevere and give us hope. I have believed for years that God has allowed me to continue to be hurt while in the process of breaking free and I held so much anger towards Him for it.
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13
What I didn’t understand is that God is so much bigger than any rituals or abuse or programming. He can take anything we are going through and use it for more healing and more freedom, and as a ritual abuse survivor, our freedom brings freedom to all the other survivors we are connected to. God is good and He never plans evil or harm for us. He is not passively allowing it to happen, He is there with us and protecting us because we are important to Him.
We need to set our sights on eternity and the importance of all we have to gain through these tough experiences. We are growing our capacity to know and experience Jesus, we are gaining more crowns to throw at His feet, and we are going to have so much praise and worship for Him because we understand how much He has done for us.
I know how hard it is to suffer and feel torment, but more importantly so does Jesus. He bore the punishment for all sin on the cross and He did it willingly. He forsake all of His fears and shame because His eye was focused on the prize – our eternal salvation and a place in heaven with Him. This life is a vapor and all of it will one day pass. That is not to say our suffering doesn’t matter, but in the suffering when we connect to Jesus we can understand the depths of His love and the hope of His plan for us.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
